One of my oldest friends is getting married this weekend. (Well, I mean, she’s not old. Our friendship is… You get what I mean.) In Mexico. To the love of her life. And I’m not going to be there. Because I’m going to be in New York planning the publicity for Lies and Other Acts of Love and meeting with my editor and my agent and my publicist and “retreating” with the Tall Poppy Writers. And it’s one of those inevitable moments in life that you wish that you could be two places at one time. But you can’t. And it stinks. But thank goodness for FaceTime.
So, my friend Drew is going to be a gorgeous bride, and I should know because we spent some time dressing up as brides throughout our childhood. In fact, in the third grade, Drew, our friend Kate and I were the Three Musketeers and all that that implies: sleepovers, birthday parties, passed notes in class, whispering behind our hands about the boys we thought were cute.
Only, one day, we got in a fight. A BIG fight. On the playground. All three of us. Which I think is sort of rare because generally wouldn’t you think two girls would get in a fight? But, no, it was all three of us. I can’t for the life of me remember why we got in this fight. And I can’t even really think of a reason that three third grade girls would be so mad at each other. But we were.
We made up, of course, what seemed to be an eternity later, but I think was only a couple of hours. I remember Kate coming up behind me, when I was standing in line to sharpen my pencil, right beside our teacher’s desk, and hugging me from behind, which is weird because she’s sort of famous for her lukewarm hugs. But this was a big one.
And I’ll never, ever forget Drew and I having this very philosophical conversation in which she told me one of the secrets of life that I have never forgotten: Friends fight. And when they make up, their friendship is stronger than it was before. This skinny little third-grader with her blonde ponytail told me that…
So, this weekend, if I were going to be at her wedding, and I were going to make a toast, I’d remind her of that sage wisdom that her eight-year-old self imparted to my eight-year-old self, but with a little bit of a twist.
Husbands and wives fight. And then they make up. And, when they do, their relationships are stronger than they were before. And that’s really all that you can ask for when you’re making a life with another person. That you grow stronger together as the years go on. I think that’s the best wish you can give a couple on their wedding day. Well, that, and one more thing. It’s a little trickier because Drew’s fiancé John was not, in fact, one of the original Three Musketeers. But, if I had to wish one other thing for them in their lives together, it’s that they will always be best friends…